Ephesians 4 Loving worthy of our call

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
(Ephesians 4:1-6 ESV)

This is just so humbling. Christ was crucified for us. Paul was in prison for the faith and for preaching the gospel to us Gentiles. Yet here we are as Christians living safe, boring lives that are often unworthy of the calling of Jesus Christ. I want to live a life that is worthy of the calling he has for me.

Yet so much of the time I am selfish and lazy. I do my hours for InterVarsity and Young Adults Group and sometimes personal devotions. Yes rest and sabbath is good, but I want to approach them differently that is glorifying to God and honoring to my body, soul, heart and mind. Often I watch a movie recently and play tower defense. But that is not productive or even restful. Even when I do other things I often overwhelm myself with plans with people and don't make time or planned intentional time for just personal time. As a result when I am home I am often too lazy, unintentional and tired to really rest well and take care of my apartment, health or mind.

Paul says to live in a manner worthy of our calling focusing on our relationships: humility, gentleness, patience, grace. God often in stressful times or times I am tired I do not consider others needs. Lord I confess my selfishness and pride. Lord help
me to repent and turn to you, asking forgiveness of others and seeking to bring about unity and encouragement.

Lord for my ministry please give me this heart for the students who don't come. It is easy for me to be hurt and sad and respond in annoyance or frustration. But God I ask you help encourage me to do the hard work to continue leading and trying new things to reach those who have chosen ou. Lord I pray I would have hard conversations and they would change my heart and help people return to IV your community and to following you!

For we are united by your Spirit and in you in all ways Lord. Yet we must work at it! God I confess my resistance to really work and change in some ways. But Lord I am not sure I can repent and change yet. Lord soften my heart. Put it on my heart the calling you have to be a Jesus follower and to live a life worthy of that calling.
Amen