Psalm 16 The Lord alone

As I read Psalm 16 with my soon to be wife (5 days) I loved the verses. See them below.

Yet I wondered how we can say these things in the midst of living in this world with family. For example as I prepare for marriage. How could David say apart from you I have no good thing. But the answer is in the text I think in the very next verse as David also says I say of the holy people who are in the land ... in whom is all my delight. The holy people of God seem to be part of his proclamation that apart from God he has no good thing.

And I think that I too can delight in my wife even as we become one before the Lord. For I am blessed to have found a noble wife. One whose heart is after the Lord and his heart. For she is a woman of faith, love and holiness with propriety as 1 Timothy 2:15 says. Thank you God for Ivanna and that together before you we can say as one You are my Lord; apart from you we have no good thing."

Also the eternal perspective is crucial too. For everything in this world will pass away. Our inheritance and our hope is eternal life and treasures in heaven. To know God the Father and his son Jesus Christ and to inherit a dwelling in His holy presence in the new city and to live forever with Him.

Lord help me to say you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. And as circumstances of life go up and down would you help me say the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. That I might pursue Godliness with contentment knowing that it is great gain as 1 Timothy 6:6 says.

1 Keep me safe, my God,
    for in you I take refuge.

2 I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
    apart from you I have no good thing.”
3 I say of the holy people who are in the land,
    “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
4 Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
    I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
    or take up their names on my lips.

5 Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
    you make my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
    nor will you let your faithful[b] one see decay.
11 You make known to me the path of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

The Parable of the Race

As I was biking home today and thinking about my life and where I am at with Jesus I experienced this parable, this story to picture and point at a core message.

The parable is:

A man runs a race. As the race begins he accelerates from the back of the pack to the front and pulls a little ahead even. As the 400 meter mark comes up he is in first place and feeling good. Then all of a sudden he begins to slow and to slow more. People race by and he who once was first begins to go the middle and then the back of the pack. By the 800 meter mark he is not in last but he is exhausted and somewhat defeated. But the race is a 5k. So he hasn't even gone close to half of the way. But he slowly and painfully as the cramps start keeps going. He even begins to walk. But then he starts slowly jogging again and finishes the race with a really slow time.

Did the man lose the race?

For me the answer is no he didn't lose the race. He definitely didn't win the race but he ran the race, I know because I really did this as a junior in cross country. He finished the race with perseverance.

So here I am having run the race. I feel like a failure. I feel tired and defeated and exhausted. But what God is inviting me to see is the race isn't over. I am tempted to quit after the first kilometer but the race isn't over. The reality is the race towards Jesus is not against anyone else. There are lots of other people running the race some way ahead and some way behind and some watching from the sidelines. In the race towards Jesus you only win or lose at the end of the race and we don't know when that is. Its like running a 5k race but you have never run a race before. You don't know how long it feels to run and you don't know where the finish line is. You are just running and you know you haven't finished yet.

The real question is which race are you trying to win?
The race against others
The race to 400 meters. For me this has been the first two years out of college.
Or the victory of the finish line regardless of which place you are in.

Here I am just past the first kilometer marker. Am I going to go home to the world or run the race to a new home in the kingdom?

Hebrews 12: 1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

The decision on the mountain: thoughts on Matt 28

Matthew 28: The Great Commission.

I have often studied and even shaped my life and ministry on this passage. But today I look at it anew.

16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations,baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

In particular where I began to experience and see something new is: I so often forget the promises Jesus gave that support and give meaning to the command to make disciples of all nations. These are so essential and yet my arrogant and foolish mind so often builds up my part instead of my joyful response to Jesus authority trusting in his power to do thos work and his presence to sustain me. But also I am fascinated by this simple phrase: but some doubted. It says they worshipped him but some doubted. For the first time they actually worship Jesus as God. They had said it before but something profoundly new happens that they are willing to worship Jesus Christ as King as God. And yet in the face of this profound new faith some doubted. 

This is grabbing a hold of me because I feel like that's me in the midst of worship doubting. Like the 11 I feel I have come to the mountain. I want Jesus and want to serve him. But there is a huge part of me that is doubting. 

Doubting

• that Jesus really is alive. 
• that Jesus really is king.
• that Jesus has authority
• that I can make any difference
• that its worth the costs to follow and serve
• that Jesus wants me to do it and that he knows what he is doing

And yet Jesus knowing their hearts knowing some were worshipping and some doubting or perhaps a mix of both in many: gives two promises and one invitation that together defined followers of Jesus forever. 

Two Promises 

1. Jesus has all authority in heaven and on earth
2. Jesus is intimately and absolutely present with us always in this life/age

One Invitation

• Go make Disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of all 3: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and teaching them everything Jesus commanded 

But I think there is a subtle reality to this invitation: If some were doubting it was not only an invitation to this work but that these 2 things are the defining definition of being a disciple of Jesus. So its an invitation will you still be my disciple: living into your baptism and learning to obey everything Jesus commanded and then discipling others so that they too would become people that live as disciples of Jesus. 

Because being in that place of doubt I feel I have a choice to make just as the 11 did: will I still follow Jesus? Or will I leave this mountain and go home to whatever is left? Am I a disciple or did I try it for a while and give up the race? 

The temptation I face is to do neither: to try to go home but still get all the benefits of a follower. To be as they call it a luke warm Christian. But Jesus didn't say there was another option: you are in or your out. Sure its a process but to be a disciple is to learn to follow or obey everything Jesus commanded including this last command. And as I have been listening to Francis Chan Crazy Love and thinking on Revelation 4 and as I see others without the real hope in Jesus and yet calling them self Christians I wonder what could be worse and why would I want that. 

And so here I am on the mountain deciding who I am when I go back down the mountain. 

Why?

1 Timothy 4:10

That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.

Letting God be God

I have been struggling emotionally and spiritually as I tried to think and prepare to go back to campus.

I have been letting doubts and insecurities rule over me.

But what if I let God really be God and did my best to trust him. 

What if I accepted humbly, denying the pride that creeps in my mind, that IV at CU really is Gods. And what if I didn't get caught worrying about the complexities of how it's Gods when how would it go without people. Maybe I could see that I am the Lords so its His. But anyways maybe this view would change more than I thought of God being God over IV and me.

It would certainly change my attitude towards prayer.

It would also overcome my insecurities because it doesn't matter, God is greater.

And fundraising in fact is how God reminded me of this shift he is doing in me. Because Hudson Taylor's view of fundraising is so radically God centered and so little money or self focused that it is beautiful and yet painful to me in some ways.

And it would change the vision and witness of my ministry.

Really all that's left is how will I respond? I am pretty sure God invited me to be a part of this. Will I let all of my stuff stop me. Do I want to be a part of this. Like Jonah will I run? Or will I joyfully say yes and yet trust God to be God and be free to just be me.

Really it's about God bringing his kingdom and saving me and others. Help me to rest in the gospel of Jesus that he saved me. Help me remember. Help me to praise and celebrate and be thankful. Inspire me to share with others that they might experience this too. That they might know you and the truth and come into the family of the light the kingdom. Because you love me and you love the people of the whole world God. 

Lord let me be overflowing with joy and hope

Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, (1 Peter 3:13-15 ESV)

The last part really stuck out to me that what people should see even if they are opposed to us is the hope that is in us. That is what I hope that God might work that more and more into my heart and faith: the hope of being with God. And in that a deep joy in The Lord with whom I am seeking fellowship now and eternally. I don't feel I have those. I am forgetful just as the Israelites were of your great goodness and salvation. I forget the depths of my darkness. I easily grow prideful and independent and ungrateful. I am sorry Father.

God do this work in my heart to set my hope on you. And fill my mind with these things of you. Then let my words be quick to point to Jesus and your character God as a reminder to myself and a witness to others.

Amen

Our identity and inheritance

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. (Romans 8:15, 17 NIV)

I haven't thought of it this way before. So often I am reminded and rightly so we are sons and daughters of God. And that is our identity. It's so freeing and healing. It changes everything. Because we don't have to waste our lives looking for identity and worth in anything else. It's been found and sealed by the blood of Christ through faith and sealed by the Holy Spirit.

But it also gives us new things. We have an inheritance: suffering and glory. For to be in Christ is to be like him even in suffering. For in suffering and death Jesus was glorified. How does that change my perspective on the challenges of life we face here? 

God please be with me and teach me to be a son and what it means to be a son of suffering and glory.