I have often studied and even shaped my life and ministry on this passage. But today I look at it anew.
16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations,baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
In particular where I began to experience and see something new is: I so often forget the promises Jesus gave that support and give meaning to the command to make disciples of all nations. These are so essential and yet my arrogant and foolish mind so often builds up my part instead of my joyful response to Jesus authority trusting in his power to do thos work and his presence to sustain me. But also I am fascinated by this simple phrase: but some doubted. It says they worshipped him but some doubted. For the first time they actually worship Jesus as God. They had said it before but something profoundly new happens that they are willing to worship Jesus Christ as King as God. And yet in the face of this profound new faith some doubted.
This is grabbing a hold of me because I feel like that's me in the midst of worship doubting. Like the 11 I feel I have come to the mountain. I want Jesus and want to serve him. But there is a huge part of me that is doubting.
Doubting
- that Jesus really is alive.
- that Jesus really is king.
- that Jesus has authority
- that I can make any difference
- that its worth the costs to follow and serve
- that Jesus wants me to do it and that he knows what he is doing
And yet Jesus knowing their hearts knowing some were worshipping and some doubting or perhaps a mix of both in many: gives two promises and one invitation that together defined followers of Jesus forever.
Two Promises
- Jesus has all authority in heaven and on earth
- Jesus is intimately and absolutely present with us always in this life/age
One Invitation
- Go make Disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of all 3: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and teaching them everything Jesus commanded
But I think there is a subtle reality to this invitation: If some were doubting it was not only an invitation to this work but that these 2 things are the defining definition of being a disciple of Jesus. So its an invitation will you still be my disciple: living into your baptism and learning to obey everything Jesus commanded and then discipling others so that they too would become people that live as disciples of Jesus.
Because being in that place of doubt I feel I have a choice to make just as the 11 did: will I still follow Jesus? Or will I leave this mountain and go home to whatever is left? Am I a disciple or did I try it for a while and give up the race?
The temptation I face is to do neither: to try to go home but still get all the benefits of a follower. To be as they call it a luke warm Christian. But Jesus didn't say there was another option: you are in or your out. Sure its a process but to be a disciple is to learn to follow or obey everything Jesus commanded including this last command. And as I have been listening to Francis Chan Crazy Love and thinking on Revelation 4 and as I see others without the real hope in Jesus and yet calling them self Christians I wonder what could be worse and why would I want that.
And so here I am on the mountain deciding who I am when I go back down the mountain.
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