Letting God be God

I have been struggling emotionally and spiritually as I tried to think and prepare to go back to campus.

I have been letting doubts and insecurities rule over me.

But what if I let God really be God and did my best to trust him. 

What if I accepted humbly, denying the pride that creeps in my mind, that IV at CU really is Gods. And what if I didn't get caught worrying about the complexities of how it's Gods when how would it go without people. Maybe I could see that I am the Lords so its His. But anyways maybe this view would change more than I thought of God being God over IV and me.

It would certainly change my attitude towards prayer.

It would also overcome my insecurities because it doesn't matter, God is greater.

And fundraising in fact is how God reminded me of this shift he is doing in me. Because Hudson Taylor's view of fundraising is so radically God centered and so little money or self focused that it is beautiful and yet painful to me in some ways.

And it would change the vision and witness of my ministry.

Really all that's left is how will I respond? I am pretty sure God invited me to be a part of this. Will I let all of my stuff stop me. Do I want to be a part of this. Like Jonah will I run? Or will I joyfully say yes and yet trust God to be God and be free to just be me.

Really it's about God bringing his kingdom and saving me and others. Help me to rest in the gospel of Jesus that he saved me. Help me remember. Help me to praise and celebrate and be thankful. Inspire me to share with others that they might experience this too. That they might know you and the truth and come into the family of the light the kingdom. Because you love me and you love the people of the whole world God.