Functional means we are looking to see how well do my relationships fulfill my needs?
Formative view means that we believe the relationships in my life are part of God's means to change me and reform me in His image.
This isn't a trap. There are healthy boundaries and their need to be healthy expectation and communication to heal things. Example healthy dating relationships.
We often live with functional mindset on relationship. When we don't get what we want or things aren't going well then we just leave the relationship or distance the relationship.
This is the balance of boundaries idea.
Example conflict is a huge way to show these two views.
Our tendency is functional to reject hard relationships with conflict.
The bible says every conflict is an opportunity for gospel growth.
Spiritual formation a lot of it is up to God not us.
God has a plan.
And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, (Acts 17:26, 27 ESV)
Unhealthy to look what we can i get out of a church?
Church shopping.
Don't take forever.
Don't expect perfection.
Invest and stick with community and relationships even when it's hard and messy.
What about family?
Question to ask:
What is Gods purpose for them and for me in this relationship?
How can I be open to what God wants to do to me?
How can I be open to God using me?
Be sensitive and accepting of change and different roles.
We can't be super close and intimate with everyone.
Some people we get 30 seconds.
Seem we get one day per year
Some a few minutes weekly.
Some more.
That is ok.
Exercise:
An example of conflict
Look for heart sin in myself.
It's not about them in this exercise not their sin. Not about what they did. It's about how I respond.
Now think what is Jesus work related to this
What is the Holy Spirits ongoing work in me?
Assumption this is for relationships God has placed you in especially deeper more regular relationship.
What if the difficulties was for the good of other people or yourself? Instead of for us to judge.
We are called to be together as Christians
To the church of God that is in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints together with all those who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, both their Lord and ours: (1 Corinthians 1:2 ESV)
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. (2 Corinthians 1:3-7 ESV)
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