Why?

1 Timothy 4:10

That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.

Letting God be God

I have been struggling emotionally and spiritually as I tried to think and prepare to go back to campus.

I have been letting doubts and insecurities rule over me.

But what if I let God really be God and did my best to trust him. 

What if I accepted humbly, denying the pride that creeps in my mind, that IV at CU really is Gods. And what if I didn't get caught worrying about the complexities of how it's Gods when how would it go without people. Maybe I could see that I am the Lords so its His. But anyways maybe this view would change more than I thought of God being God over IV and me.

It would certainly change my attitude towards prayer.

It would also overcome my insecurities because it doesn't matter, God is greater.

And fundraising in fact is how God reminded me of this shift he is doing in me. Because Hudson Taylor's view of fundraising is so radically God centered and so little money or self focused that it is beautiful and yet painful to me in some ways.

And it would change the vision and witness of my ministry.

Really all that's left is how will I respond? I am pretty sure God invited me to be a part of this. Will I let all of my stuff stop me. Do I want to be a part of this. Like Jonah will I run? Or will I joyfully say yes and yet trust God to be God and be free to just be me.

Really it's about God bringing his kingdom and saving me and others. Help me to rest in the gospel of Jesus that he saved me. Help me remember. Help me to praise and celebrate and be thankful. Inspire me to share with others that they might experience this too. That they might know you and the truth and come into the family of the light the kingdom. Because you love me and you love the people of the whole world God. 

Lord let me be overflowing with joy and hope

Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, (1 Peter 3:13-15 ESV)

The last part really stuck out to me that what people should see even if they are opposed to us is the hope that is in us. That is what I hope that God might work that more and more into my heart and faith: the hope of being with God. And in that a deep joy in The Lord with whom I am seeking fellowship now and eternally. I don't feel I have those. I am forgetful just as the Israelites were of your great goodness and salvation. I forget the depths of my darkness. I easily grow prideful and independent and ungrateful. I am sorry Father.

God do this work in my heart to set my hope on you. And fill my mind with these things of you. Then let my words be quick to point to Jesus and your character God as a reminder to myself and a witness to others.

Amen

Our identity and inheritance

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. (Romans 8:15, 17 NIV)

I haven't thought of it this way before. So often I am reminded and rightly so we are sons and daughters of God. And that is our identity. It's so freeing and healing. It changes everything. Because we don't have to waste our lives looking for identity and worth in anything else. It's been found and sealed by the blood of Christ through faith and sealed by the Holy Spirit.

But it also gives us new things. We have an inheritance: suffering and glory. For to be in Christ is to be like him even in suffering. For in suffering and death Jesus was glorified. How does that change my perspective on the challenges of life we face here? 

God please be with me and teach me to be a son and what it means to be a son of suffering and glory. 

A reminder of our hope Romans 8

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 

...

Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. 

...

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:18, 23-25, 38, 39 NIV)

What is real discipleship?

I have been reading about Hudson Taylor and just blown away by his radical commitment to really follow Jesus. I mean I often look foolish to the world but even to me he seems radical. Yet his joy in The Lord and the fruit of the kingdom coming makes me wonder. What if he is right? Maybe following Jesus is even more radical than I imagined.

As I thought about this question of what is real discipleship (what does it mean to really follow Jesus?) I turned to the middle of mark which is a major turning point of the gospel.

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.” Jesus warned them not to tell anyone about him. (Mark 8:29, 30 NIV)

This is the turning point of Mark and of Jesus ministry I think. In fact this is the exact middle of mark that splits it in half. A friend on InterVarsity staff James Butler said that Jesus from this point turns toward Jerusalem and sets his ministry on that course. And you can feel the heat. Even Peter is blown out of the water.

He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Mark 8:31-33 NIV)

Even Peter who had given up almost everything to follow Jesus to be a disciple doesn't come close to getting it. It's the most radical plan ever. Jesus who we just get confirmation is the Messiah is knowingly going to suffer and die. And what I think peter doesn't get is that is the way of Jesus suffer and die, but then in death you will rise eternal.

And then Jesus turns to the disciples and to you and me and says:

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? (Mark 8:34-36 NIV)

Jesus invites us all to something radical I don't think even Peter or the disciples understood until later it became reality.

Jesus invites his followers to suffer and to die to this world. Only in death following Jesus will we rise to eternity and our lives or our souls will be saved. And he certainly has the authority to call us to this because he walked that road first. He is the first to die and the first to rise and so we follow in his footsteps. 

But now I ask myself: how far am I willing to go? Will I suffer and die in order to stand and rise with Jesus? I don't think it's an if. We often say would we be willing to do it if it happened. But Jesus didn't say no if. He said we must deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow him. And Jesus carried his cross to his death. There is no if about it. I am becoming more and more convinced of what it really means to follow Jesus.

But for those who persevere there is an eternal promise:

And he said to them, “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see that the kingdom of God has come with power.” (Mark 9:1 NIV)

For they will see the kingdom of God and know that the kingdom of God has come with power! 

But the kingdom is not far off for Jesus also said as recorded in Luke:

Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.” (Luke 17:20, 21 NIV)

And so the 3 disciples of Jesus: Peter James and John got to see some compelling evidence that the kingdom of God has already come with power. In Mark immediately folliwing this:

After six days Jesus took Peter, James and John with him and led them up a high mountain, where they were all alone. There he was transfigured before them. (Mark 9:2 NIV)

So what will I choose: to lose my life and find it in Jesus or not?

What is real discipleship?

I have been reading about Hudson Taylor and just blown away by his radical commitment to really follow Jesus. I mean I often look foolish to the world but even to me he seems radical. Yet his joy in The Lord and the fruit of the kingdom coming makes me wonder. What if he is right? Maybe following Jesus is even more radical than I imagined.

As I thought about this question of what is real discipleship (what does it mean to really follow Jesus?) I turned to the middle of mark which is a major turning point of the gospel.

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.” Jesus warned them not to tell anyone about him. (Mark 8:29, 30 NIV)

This is the turning point of Mark and of Jesus ministry I think. In fact this is the exact middle of mark that splits it in half. A friend on InterVarsity staff James Butler said that Jesus from this point turns toward Jerusalem and sets his ministry on that course to the cross to suffering and death. And you can feel the heat as Mark continues. Even Peter is blown out of the water. For in the church we often stop at the question: who do you say Jesus is? And if you say Savior and your Lord check you are pretty much in. But Jesus is only just getting started in his discipleship of Peter and the others. It gets more and more intense.

This is how Jesus goes on from Peters declaration the Jesus is the Messiah:

He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Mark 8:31-33 NIV)

Even Peter who had given up almost everything to follow Jesus to be a disciple doesn't come close to getting it. It's the most radical plan ever. Jesus who we just finally get confirmation is the Messiah is knowingly going to suffer and die. And what I think Peter doesn't get is that is the way of Jesus suffer and die, but then in death you will rise eternal.

And then Jesus turns to the disciples and to you and me and says:

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? (Mark 8:34-36 NIV)

Jesus invites us all to something radical I don't think even Peter or the disciples understood until later it became reality.

Jesus invites his followers to suffer and to die to this world. Only in death following Jesus will we rise to eternity and our lives or our souls will be saved. And he certainly has the authority to call us to this because he walked that road first. He is the first to die and the first to rise and so we follow in his footsteps. 

But now I ask myself: how far am I willing to go? Will I suffer and die in order to stand and rise with Jesus? I don't think it's an if. We often say would we be willing to do it if it happened. But Jesus didn't say no if. He said we must deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow him. And Jesus carried his cross to his death. There is no if about it. I am becoming more and more convinced of what it really means to follow Jesus. Not just for a few not just for missionaries or Christians in other countries, but for all of us. Not the few radical exceptions but the norm the standard the beginning for all of us. 

For death to this life in following Jesus is the beginning of eternal life in the kingdom of God.

And he said to them, “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see that the kingdom of God has come with power.” (Mark 9:1 NIV)

For they will see the kingdom of God and know that the kingdom of God has come with power! 

But the kingdom is not far off for Jesus also said as recorded in Luke:

Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.” (Luke 17:20, 21 NIV)

And so the 3 disciples of Jesus: Peter James and John got to see some compelling evidence that the kingdom of God has already come with power. In Mark immediately following this:

After six days Jesus took Peter, James and John with him and led them up a high mountain, where they were all alone. There he was transfigured before them. (Mark 9:2 NIV)

So what will I choose: to lose my life and find it in Jesus or not?