Fight the battle well holding to faith ...

1 Timothy 18-20

18 Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, 19 holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith. 20 Among them are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme.

God I thank you that I am not alone. That in the struggles of life and faith and ministry you give us examples of not just perfect but real people in their real struggles. 

Lord I have been tempted to give up in so many ways. I am tempted to doubt my calling and wonder if it was my own willpower that brought me here. For in our struggle the devil seems to isolate us and then bring his lies all around us. 

I may not have heard the voice of God or prophecy clearly but there was something in my heart and mind that said yes: here am I. I will go. Lord I want others to come to know you. I prepared and applied and interned and then said yes to this work for your kingdom on the CU campus. Lord would you help me recall why I started this journey of ministry. Would you help me celebrate the little things along the way. 

God give me the strength and willpower to fight the battle well holding on to faith and a good conscience. I don't know how, but help me to turn to you and depend on you. 
Amen

Abide in Jesus Christ then you will bear fruit

Jesus said in John 15:5

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

And 

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. (John 15:1-4 NIV)

God you have been humbling me and reminding me you are God and I am not, you are savior and I am not, you are in control and I am not. God you are the Gardner. Jesus is the vine and my place is as a branch in the vine. You call us first to abide in you. In you Jesus you say without question we will bear much fruit, but apart from abiding in Jesus we can do nothing.

It's amazing the strength of this statement either you will abide or not and directly consequential you will absolutely either bear fruit or not. Now I am a little confused on what this fruit is, but I am sure it is good: repentance, growth, witness, love etc.

But Lord I confess I have not been abiding in you. And I feel I have not been bearing fruit. Now that's probably a little extreme but I think there have been days or a few weeks where I really haven't abided in you Jesus. God I have felt the pain and loss of not abiding in you. But I have been lost and stuck in despair. I have been walking in darkness and I have forgotten my way home to you. Lord would you guide me back to you. For you are hope and life and truth and love. In you there is not a shadow of darkness. God I desire to dwell in your presence. I long to live in your city and find citizenship with you in your kingdom. Let me dwell in the house of The Lord all the days of my life and forever.

Amen

God I pray for a mind and heart shift

God I pray for a mind and heart shift,

Would you help me view my role and responsibility in ministry as is right and good in your eyes. Help me to remember and trust you as I humble myself before you. You are God and I am not. 

So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. (1 Corinthians 3:7 ESV)

I am selfish and arrogant so would you humble me and change my heart. In fact you have humbled me so would you please pick me up and heal me now Lord?

Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said: “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge? “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. (Job 38:1, 2, 4 NIV)

For I have seen the storm and the maelstrom. In my house, my neighborhood, the ministry I try to lead.

I can say with with the author of Proverbs: 

He mocks proud mockers
    but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.

Proverbs 3:34

So I will try as 1 Peter 5 says

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Father God help me to believe that you do care for me.

Lord give me a new vision and a clearer sense of my calling and responsibility. 

Send me to plant, water, to sow and to reap the harvest you grow. 

For have you not sent me saying:

He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. 3 Go!

Luke 10:2,3

For I am weak and weary and ready to give up. I long to hear a word from you Lord telling me it was not all for nothing, that you care and what you want me to do from here. 

Amen

Paul ministry model for Timothy

Here is one part but a good summary of a ministry model to a pastor or minster of the gospel:

Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe. Command and teach these things. Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers. (1 Timothy 4:7, 10-16 ESV)

Ministry - set the example

Paul gives Timothy some instructions about ministry.

But he also gives this interesting call to Timothy as a minister of the gospel:

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12 ESV)

It makes sense right: lead by example. But for some reason I also struggle with this and it is a new and challenging idea to me in my ministry model. Timothy is called to teach and command certain things but also that a significant part of his ministry is simply to pursue godliness and train in at and by his life set an example. Suggesting that this is a crucial time and energy component of ministry. That it is not extra or on the side but central.

My mindset is a lot on productivity and urgency not using time to just set an example in this way. It seems counterintuitive to me. And yet that is often how God works and how the kingdom grows.

God help me to seek you, train in godliness and to set the example. Let the mark my ministry but first I need up to break my model and way of doing things and replace it with your direction and vision.

Amen

A call to endure in ministry 1 Timothy

1 Timothy 1:1-4

1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope,
2 To Timothy my true son in the faith:
Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

3 As I urged you when I went into Macedonia, stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain people not to teach false doctrines any longer

4 or to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies. Such things promote controversial speculations rather than advancing God’s work—which is by faith.

First Paul remembers his calling and then to his dear son in the faith Timothy he says:

As I told you before stay there in Ephesus.

This is where Timothy is the head pastor or Bishop over the church. 

I wonder if Timothy wasn't discouraged from doing ministry there. There were times when the church in Ephesus was healthy and thriving. Paul was a big part of founding the church there and some strong believers and teachers of the gospel had lived there. But it sounds like things had gotten bumpy and the church was going through some hard times. There were teachers leading people astray into false doctrines and other distractions. They had lost there focus on Jesus Christ and the work God called them too. 

Sometimes I feel the same way in the ups and downs of ministry. Even as a student leader and more so now as staff the growth or lack there of in the InterVarsity body of Christ often made me discouraged. Just like Ephesus sometimes there are divisions. Sometimes leaders go astray. Almost all the time students push back from the work of mission and evangelism God calls us to. Its hard and scary when we would rather be safe and comfortable in the walls of the church, hiding from the world on a Christian retreat or cuddled up with your closest IV friends. But that is not the work God has called us to. We who are followers of Jesus are called to community that goes out on mission. The church is called to love and serve and go to the people who aren't in it yet. 

So what do we do in ministry when the going gets rough? When the community is distracted or divided? When false teachings and distractions are limiting the work we are called to by God? 

Paul calls Timothy to endure, To stay, To step into those hard places and stop the people who are disrupting the fellowship and mission. He says as I told you before stay there: ministry often takes a long time, don't give up and leave your people now. The people under our care need us to stay and remain faithful to the calling God has given us. But we have to have the hard conversations and confront the heart issues and the people at the heart of the unhealthy.

God would you give me the strength to remain faithful and endure. 

God would you fill me with your hope and a vision to sustain me and help me lead those under my care forward. Lord I can't do this without you. But through Christ who strengthens me I can do all things. 

Amen

Calvary Church: 1 John 1

I am trying a new method of time with God. Lord I pray this would be guided by the life Jesus set before us and scripture. Help me to take your words and actively respond to them and build my life around them growing and building my life brick by brick.

There are three components of this new method.

1 Listen for The Lord and what he is speaking to me.

2 respond actively in confession, repentance, mission, service etc.

3 debrief and let others interpret what God is doing so that I grow in The Lord.

Today at church I heard the Word of The Lord as spoken by our pastor from the living Word of God

In 1 John 1

God guide me even now.

1 The Word of The Lord I heard

What stuck out to me most at church was:

Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did. (1 John 2:6 NIV)

But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. 

This is how we know we are in him: Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness.

 (1 John 2:5, 9 NIV)

Really it's about what a life of faith is defined by: knowledge or by a changed life transformed by Christ at once and daily. 

At my core I believe a life of faith is knowing God and repentance which brings Gods transformation in my heart and actions. Yet much of my life is too segmented: I either have time with God meaning bible study which is separate from action and mission. To little has my personal scripture study resulted in action such as repentance. Even the name bible study is knowledge focused and not active and life changing. And too often the acts of mission I take are out of obligation or seeking success and not in response to Gods word and calling. 

2 active response

God I confess this to you. I see you have been bringing this up in a variety of ways.

Father I want knowledge of you not knowledge that puffs. Understanding and emotions that lead me to you in repentance and praise. God change my life and my time with you. Help me to follow the example set for us by Jesus. Help me to know and obey your words and truth. Let my life flow out of knowing you and hearing from you every day and in the little moments. Build my life and my ministry on you and your Word God.

Amen

3 I need help debriefing and letting others interpret what you are doing in and through me God.

Father help me find and invite others into this: even as you are already doing as I step into this.  Grow me in you and in how I spend time with you in a new and I pray more fruitful way.

Amen