Psalm 16 The Lord alone

As I read Psalm 16 with my soon to be wife (5 days) I loved the verses. See them below.

Yet I wondered how we can say these things in the midst of living in this world with family. For example as I prepare for marriage. How could David say apart from you I have no good thing. But the answer is in the text I think in the very next verse as David also says I say of the holy people who are in the land ... in whom is all my delight. The holy people of God seem to be part of his proclamation that apart from God he has no good thing.

And I think that I too can delight in my wife even as we become one before the Lord. For I am blessed to have found a noble wife. One whose heart is after the Lord and his heart. For she is a woman of faith, love and holiness with propriety as 1 Timothy 2:15 says. Thank you God for Ivanna and that together before you we can say as one You are my Lord; apart from you we have no good thing."

Also the eternal perspective is crucial too. For everything in this world will pass away. Our inheritance and our hope is eternal life and treasures in heaven. To know God the Father and his son Jesus Christ and to inherit a dwelling in His holy presence in the new city and to live forever with Him.

Lord help me to say you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. And as circumstances of life go up and down would you help me say the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. That I might pursue Godliness with contentment knowing that it is great gain as 1 Timothy 6:6 says.

1 Keep me safe, my God,
    for in you I take refuge.

2 I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
    apart from you I have no good thing.”
3 I say of the holy people who are in the land,
    “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
4 Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
    I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
    or take up their names on my lips.

5 Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
    you make my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
    nor will you let your faithful[b] one see decay.
11 You make known to me the path of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

The Parable of the Race

As I was biking home today and thinking about my life and where I am at with Jesus I experienced this parable, this story to picture and point at a core message.

The parable is:

A man runs a race. As the race begins he accelerates from the back of the pack to the front and pulls a little ahead even. As the 400 meter mark comes up he is in first place and feeling good. Then all of a sudden he begins to slow and to slow more. People race by and he who once was first begins to go the middle and then the back of the pack. By the 800 meter mark he is not in last but he is exhausted and somewhat defeated. But the race is a 5k. So he hasn't even gone close to half of the way. But he slowly and painfully as the cramps start keeps going. He even begins to walk. But then he starts slowly jogging again and finishes the race with a really slow time.

Did the man lose the race?

For me the answer is no he didn't lose the race. He definitely didn't win the race but he ran the race, I know because I really did this as a junior in cross country. He finished the race with perseverance.

So here I am having run the race. I feel like a failure. I feel tired and defeated and exhausted. But what God is inviting me to see is the race isn't over. I am tempted to quit after the first kilometer but the race isn't over. The reality is the race towards Jesus is not against anyone else. There are lots of other people running the race some way ahead and some way behind and some watching from the sidelines. In the race towards Jesus you only win or lose at the end of the race and we don't know when that is. Its like running a 5k race but you have never run a race before. You don't know how long it feels to run and you don't know where the finish line is. You are just running and you know you haven't finished yet.

The real question is which race are you trying to win?
The race against others
The race to 400 meters. For me this has been the first two years out of college.
Or the victory of the finish line regardless of which place you are in.

Here I am just past the first kilometer marker. Am I going to go home to the world or run the race to a new home in the kingdom?

Hebrews 12: 1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

The decision on the mountain: thoughts on Matt 28

Matthew 28: The Great Commission.

I have often studied and even shaped my life and ministry on this passage. But today I look at it anew.

16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations,baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

In particular where I began to experience and see something new is: I so often forget the promises Jesus gave that support and give meaning to the command to make disciples of all nations. These are so essential and yet my arrogant and foolish mind so often builds up my part instead of my joyful response to Jesus authority trusting in his power to do thos work and his presence to sustain me. But also I am fascinated by this simple phrase: but some doubted. It says they worshipped him but some doubted. For the first time they actually worship Jesus as God. They had said it before but something profoundly new happens that they are willing to worship Jesus Christ as King as God. And yet in the face of this profound new faith some doubted. 

This is grabbing a hold of me because I feel like that's me in the midst of worship doubting. Like the 11 I feel I have come to the mountain. I want Jesus and want to serve him. But there is a huge part of me that is doubting. 

Doubting

• that Jesus really is alive. 
• that Jesus really is king.
• that Jesus has authority
• that I can make any difference
• that its worth the costs to follow and serve
• that Jesus wants me to do it and that he knows what he is doing

And yet Jesus knowing their hearts knowing some were worshipping and some doubting or perhaps a mix of both in many: gives two promises and one invitation that together defined followers of Jesus forever. 

Two Promises 

1. Jesus has all authority in heaven and on earth
2. Jesus is intimately and absolutely present with us always in this life/age

One Invitation

• Go make Disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of all 3: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and teaching them everything Jesus commanded 

But I think there is a subtle reality to this invitation: If some were doubting it was not only an invitation to this work but that these 2 things are the defining definition of being a disciple of Jesus. So its an invitation will you still be my disciple: living into your baptism and learning to obey everything Jesus commanded and then discipling others so that they too would become people that live as disciples of Jesus. 

Because being in that place of doubt I feel I have a choice to make just as the 11 did: will I still follow Jesus? Or will I leave this mountain and go home to whatever is left? Am I a disciple or did I try it for a while and give up the race? 

The temptation I face is to do neither: to try to go home but still get all the benefits of a follower. To be as they call it a luke warm Christian. But Jesus didn't say there was another option: you are in or your out. Sure its a process but to be a disciple is to learn to follow or obey everything Jesus commanded including this last command. And as I have been listening to Francis Chan Crazy Love and thinking on Revelation 4 and as I see others without the real hope in Jesus and yet calling them self Christians I wonder what could be worse and why would I want that. 

And so here I am on the mountain deciding who I am when I go back down the mountain. 

Why?

1 Timothy 4:10

That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.

Letting God be God

I have been struggling emotionally and spiritually as I tried to think and prepare to go back to campus.

I have been letting doubts and insecurities rule over me.

But what if I let God really be God and did my best to trust him. 

What if I accepted humbly, denying the pride that creeps in my mind, that IV at CU really is Gods. And what if I didn't get caught worrying about the complexities of how it's Gods when how would it go without people. Maybe I could see that I am the Lords so its His. But anyways maybe this view would change more than I thought of God being God over IV and me.

It would certainly change my attitude towards prayer.

It would also overcome my insecurities because it doesn't matter, God is greater.

And fundraising in fact is how God reminded me of this shift he is doing in me. Because Hudson Taylor's view of fundraising is so radically God centered and so little money or self focused that it is beautiful and yet painful to me in some ways.

And it would change the vision and witness of my ministry.

Really all that's left is how will I respond? I am pretty sure God invited me to be a part of this. Will I let all of my stuff stop me. Do I want to be a part of this. Like Jonah will I run? Or will I joyfully say yes and yet trust God to be God and be free to just be me.

Really it's about God bringing his kingdom and saving me and others. Help me to rest in the gospel of Jesus that he saved me. Help me remember. Help me to praise and celebrate and be thankful. Inspire me to share with others that they might experience this too. That they might know you and the truth and come into the family of the light the kingdom. Because you love me and you love the people of the whole world God. 

Lord let me be overflowing with joy and hope

Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, (1 Peter 3:13-15 ESV)

The last part really stuck out to me that what people should see even if they are opposed to us is the hope that is in us. That is what I hope that God might work that more and more into my heart and faith: the hope of being with God. And in that a deep joy in The Lord with whom I am seeking fellowship now and eternally. I don't feel I have those. I am forgetful just as the Israelites were of your great goodness and salvation. I forget the depths of my darkness. I easily grow prideful and independent and ungrateful. I am sorry Father.

God do this work in my heart to set my hope on you. And fill my mind with these things of you. Then let my words be quick to point to Jesus and your character God as a reminder to myself and a witness to others.

Amen

Our identity and inheritance

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. (Romans 8:15, 17 NIV)

I haven't thought of it this way before. So often I am reminded and rightly so we are sons and daughters of God. And that is our identity. It's so freeing and healing. It changes everything. Because we don't have to waste our lives looking for identity and worth in anything else. It's been found and sealed by the blood of Christ through faith and sealed by the Holy Spirit.

But it also gives us new things. We have an inheritance: suffering and glory. For to be in Christ is to be like him even in suffering. For in suffering and death Jesus was glorified. How does that change my perspective on the challenges of life we face here? 

God please be with me and teach me to be a son and what it means to be a son of suffering and glory. 

A reminder of our hope Romans 8

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 

...

Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. 

...

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:18, 23-25, 38, 39 NIV)

What is real discipleship?

I have been reading about Hudson Taylor and just blown away by his radical commitment to really follow Jesus. I mean I often look foolish to the world but even to me he seems radical. Yet his joy in The Lord and the fruit of the kingdom coming makes me wonder. What if he is right? Maybe following Jesus is even more radical than I imagined.

As I thought about this question of what is real discipleship (what does it mean to really follow Jesus?) I turned to the middle of mark which is a major turning point of the gospel.

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.” Jesus warned them not to tell anyone about him. (Mark 8:29, 30 NIV)

This is the turning point of Mark and of Jesus ministry I think. In fact this is the exact middle of mark that splits it in half. A friend on InterVarsity staff James Butler said that Jesus from this point turns toward Jerusalem and sets his ministry on that course. And you can feel the heat. Even Peter is blown out of the water.

He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Mark 8:31-33 NIV)

Even Peter who had given up almost everything to follow Jesus to be a disciple doesn't come close to getting it. It's the most radical plan ever. Jesus who we just get confirmation is the Messiah is knowingly going to suffer and die. And what I think peter doesn't get is that is the way of Jesus suffer and die, but then in death you will rise eternal.

And then Jesus turns to the disciples and to you and me and says:

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? (Mark 8:34-36 NIV)

Jesus invites us all to something radical I don't think even Peter or the disciples understood until later it became reality.

Jesus invites his followers to suffer and to die to this world. Only in death following Jesus will we rise to eternity and our lives or our souls will be saved. And he certainly has the authority to call us to this because he walked that road first. He is the first to die and the first to rise and so we follow in his footsteps. 

But now I ask myself: how far am I willing to go? Will I suffer and die in order to stand and rise with Jesus? I don't think it's an if. We often say would we be willing to do it if it happened. But Jesus didn't say no if. He said we must deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow him. And Jesus carried his cross to his death. There is no if about it. I am becoming more and more convinced of what it really means to follow Jesus.

But for those who persevere there is an eternal promise:

And he said to them, “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see that the kingdom of God has come with power.” (Mark 9:1 NIV)

For they will see the kingdom of God and know that the kingdom of God has come with power! 

But the kingdom is not far off for Jesus also said as recorded in Luke:

Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.” (Luke 17:20, 21 NIV)

And so the 3 disciples of Jesus: Peter James and John got to see some compelling evidence that the kingdom of God has already come with power. In Mark immediately folliwing this:

After six days Jesus took Peter, James and John with him and led them up a high mountain, where they were all alone. There he was transfigured before them. (Mark 9:2 NIV)

So what will I choose: to lose my life and find it in Jesus or not?

What is real discipleship?

I have been reading about Hudson Taylor and just blown away by his radical commitment to really follow Jesus. I mean I often look foolish to the world but even to me he seems radical. Yet his joy in The Lord and the fruit of the kingdom coming makes me wonder. What if he is right? Maybe following Jesus is even more radical than I imagined.

As I thought about this question of what is real discipleship (what does it mean to really follow Jesus?) I turned to the middle of mark which is a major turning point of the gospel.

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.” Jesus warned them not to tell anyone about him. (Mark 8:29, 30 NIV)

This is the turning point of Mark and of Jesus ministry I think. In fact this is the exact middle of mark that splits it in half. A friend on InterVarsity staff James Butler said that Jesus from this point turns toward Jerusalem and sets his ministry on that course to the cross to suffering and death. And you can feel the heat as Mark continues. Even Peter is blown out of the water. For in the church we often stop at the question: who do you say Jesus is? And if you say Savior and your Lord check you are pretty much in. But Jesus is only just getting started in his discipleship of Peter and the others. It gets more and more intense.

This is how Jesus goes on from Peters declaration the Jesus is the Messiah:

He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Mark 8:31-33 NIV)

Even Peter who had given up almost everything to follow Jesus to be a disciple doesn't come close to getting it. It's the most radical plan ever. Jesus who we just finally get confirmation is the Messiah is knowingly going to suffer and die. And what I think Peter doesn't get is that is the way of Jesus suffer and die, but then in death you will rise eternal.

And then Jesus turns to the disciples and to you and me and says:

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? (Mark 8:34-36 NIV)

Jesus invites us all to something radical I don't think even Peter or the disciples understood until later it became reality.

Jesus invites his followers to suffer and to die to this world. Only in death following Jesus will we rise to eternity and our lives or our souls will be saved. And he certainly has the authority to call us to this because he walked that road first. He is the first to die and the first to rise and so we follow in his footsteps. 

But now I ask myself: how far am I willing to go? Will I suffer and die in order to stand and rise with Jesus? I don't think it's an if. We often say would we be willing to do it if it happened. But Jesus didn't say no if. He said we must deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow him. And Jesus carried his cross to his death. There is no if about it. I am becoming more and more convinced of what it really means to follow Jesus. Not just for a few not just for missionaries or Christians in other countries, but for all of us. Not the few radical exceptions but the norm the standard the beginning for all of us. 

For death to this life in following Jesus is the beginning of eternal life in the kingdom of God.

And he said to them, “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see that the kingdom of God has come with power.” (Mark 9:1 NIV)

For they will see the kingdom of God and know that the kingdom of God has come with power! 

But the kingdom is not far off for Jesus also said as recorded in Luke:

Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.” (Luke 17:20, 21 NIV)

And so the 3 disciples of Jesus: Peter James and John got to see some compelling evidence that the kingdom of God has already come with power. In Mark immediately following this:

After six days Jesus took Peter, James and John with him and led them up a high mountain, where they were all alone. There he was transfigured before them. (Mark 9:2 NIV)

So what will I choose: to lose my life and find it in Jesus or not?

Eternal Perspective

What if I lived from the eternal perspective?

No one can redeem the life of another or give to God a ransom for them— the ransom for a life is costly, no payment is ever enough— so that they should live on forever and not see decay. For all can see that the wise die, that the foolish and the senseless also perish, leaving their wealth to others. Their tombs will remain their houses forever, their dwellings for endless generations, though they had named lands after themselves. But God will redeem me from the realm of the dead; he will surely take me to himself. (Psalm 49:7-11, 15 NIV)

This is the hope I confess in Jesus Christ my savior and Lord. But what does it mean to live with this eternal perspective?

How should it shape my perspective on Work

Moving

Suffering

Wealth

Pleasure and fun

Etc?

True Rest and sabbath rest

Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest. (Hebrews 3:1 NIV)

But Christ is faithful as the Son over God’s house. And we are his house, if indeed we hold firmly to our confidence and the hope in which we glory. (Hebrews 3:6 NIV)

Our hope is heaven and a true satisfying rest. That is the heavenly calling Christ has earned for us by God's grace.

So sabbath rest on day per week is a regular reminder to set our hopes on eternity not on the work or pleasures of the week. Often we celebrate the sabbath on Sundays with musical worship and church. 

But as Ivanna and I return from China we seek to rest from the work God has given us.

Lord teach us to rest during this time. Help us to have time and space to rest. Use this time to fix our hearts on our future home in your family in the eternal kingdom of God as you told the disciples after their little mission:

However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” (Luke 10:20 NIV)

Lord teach Ivanna and me to rejoice that our names are written in heaven.  Write this hope on our hearts. And help us to make every effort to enter that rest by faith and belief in Jesus Christ and God's promise as we live and act in obedience.

For all people?

I have been digging into the book of 1 Timothy for about 8 months now. This past couple weeks I was meditating on these verses:

1 Timothy 2:3-6

3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. 5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all people. This has now been witnessed to at the proper time. 

But I couldn't understand why verse 4 and 6 emphasize God's desire and Christ's ransom for all people. It seems so simple right: God loves all people and  Christ died for all people. Yet the reality seems so befuddling: not all people come to a knowledge of the truth and many reject being saved through the ransom of Christ. 

Then in the midst of my own struggle around ministry and what defines success I think I came to understand a little more. I have said for years that in ministry faithfulness is the only measure of success. For Jeremiah was as successful as Paul because both were faithful to God's mission he gave them. Paul saw more tangible fruit in his life. Yet what seemed fruitless in Jeremiah's ministry has come to bear much fruit as the words of Jeremiah comfort us today in hard times. 

But our theology and doctrine is tested by our circumstances and our actions. And in the face of this year of ministry what I truly believed has become clear. I actually did measure myself and my ministry by the tangible fruit it bore or didn't bear. And I found myself wanting by my standards. There are some amazing and powerful things happening that have happened this year in the ministry and in my life. But I was blinded from it by my own expectations and demands of myself and God. 

As I prepare for East Asia I feel the weight of leading a trip that is beyond my abilities and yet also my responsibility. I began to ask this question: What if God is more concerned about people than events? What would that look like? At first I couldn't imagine it because through my lens people are impacted by events and the events have to go a certain way. But as I grow and see the mysteries of life I think I am finding that people are shaped not by events being successful again after again but by the mix of life and success and failure and the slow shaping of our character. In fact what seems a failure to the world may actually bear the most fruit in the heart of a man. 

So I thought if a ministry or mission trip doesn't see tangible fruit is it worth it? I began to count the costs and quickly say how could it be worth it if nothing comes of it. But what if this one event of a short mission trip is just one part of a series of events and God changes our hearts or the hearts of those we go to. But even then what if someone never accepts Jesus. Would it still be worth it? Would a life of fundraising and looking foolish on campus be worth it? 

And 1 timothy:5,6 came back to me. 

Christ Jesus who gave himself as a ransom for all people.

And I thought was it worth it for Jesus to suffer and die as a ransom for someone even if they never accept it. For it says he gave himself as a ransom for all people, not only the ones who would believe. 

If Jesus-God himself counted a person worth suffering and dying for a person knowing that they would never come to believe and receive it then the most precious sacrifice and gift was still worth giving. Jesus willingly looked at those who accuses and rejected and persecuted him with love. He counted them worthy, he loved them like no other even as they rejected his love and sacrifice. 

If my model is Jesus then I have to say yes it is absolutely worth it to love and sacrifice hoping they might receive what Jesus did for them, but endure in loving never knowing if they will receive the Love of Christ that hopefully flows through me. 

Lord do a new work work in my heart to love like this, to love like Jesus to the very end believing it is absolutely worth the cost. 

Amen

True Righteousness

Sometimes I struggle to keep a righteousness by the law or by my own strength.

But this is what Isaiah says in chapter 64:6

All of us have become like one who is unclean,

    and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;

we all shrivel up like a leaf,

    and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

Our righteousness the best we can do not even considering our sins are like filthy rags.  Yet in Christ we can say Amen my righteousness does not come from my works. In fact we bring nothing except sin and punishment by our acts. For it is Christ's righteousness on which we stand.

2 Corinthians 5:21

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Lord teach me to say with Paul even as he counts his "good" works as he repeats his resume of righteousness by his own strength as he wrote in Philippians 3

7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

I think sometimes I trade the law for a law of my heart condition instead of the grace of God through Christ. Lord God you know my heart, you know that by my own strength I cannot attain righteous, and I cannot will my heart to change. But on my knees I might find in you God strength and healing and grace as I ask you to change my heart God. 

Lord teach me this, sink it deep in my heart as I struggle in the face of ministry and the seemingly insurmountable China GP. Lord teach it to me in my works and in my sins that my identity and righteousness come from Christ alone through faith. Bring me back to faith in what Jesus has already done for me and all people.
Amen