My psalm 54 prayer to God

O God, save me by your name, and vindicate me by your might. O God, hear my prayer; give ear to the words of my mouth. For strangers have risen against me; ruthless men seek my life; they do not set God before themselves. Selah Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life. He will return the evil to my enemies; in your faithfulness put an end to them. With a freewill offering I will sacrifice to you; I will give thanks to your name, O Lord, for it is good. For he has delivered me from every trouble, and my eye has looked in triumph on my enemies. (Psalm 54:1-7 ESV)

Lord guide my words by your Spirit in me to write my heart and pray to you as David did in his time of trouble and times of rejoicing. Let this Psalm of mine be pleasing to you!

Father God, save me by your power, and turn my heart to you by your transforming gospel.

God hear my prayer, listen to me and the small hopes of my weak heart. For my own heart, life, the world, some family, some situations have turned against me. People and structures I thought I could depend on have failed me, I have sinned and depended too greatly on myself and set my hope and dependence in the wrong things. 

Yet I will still rejoice in you Lord.

For God is my helper and ever present protector, Lord you are the one who created me and hold my every day and every part of my being together. Lord you will work against those who work against your gospel. Lord you will work all things out for your good and my good. You will put an end to my sin and reign victorious in me!

Lord in my prayers and my abundance I will rejoice and give back to you and others out of thanksgiving! I will praise and give thanks to you sovereign God! For you have provided all I have and blessed me in giving more. For I tell you our God has led me out of darkness into light and even in times of stress and my own sin you have been faithful and doing new and beautiful work in me and through me. 

Amen

Marriage Commitment: discipleship!

1 Corinthians 7

Ivanna and I studied this section together today. This is a beautiful thing that we can study the Word of God together. This text speaks to those who are married and unmarried. For us the Spirit spoke to us about preparing for marriage and the seriousness of the commitment to marriage.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:3, 4 NIV)

That is some serious commitment. That looks so little like marriages today where when things get hard people divorce. This marriage that models Christ and his bride the church the body of Christ is a loving sacrificial act where each dies to themselves and serves the other even when we don't want to.

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 

(1 Corinthians 7:8, 9 NIV)

Paul is one of those who are able and called to live celibate lives. These verses and later in this chapter need to be carefully considered and not taken to either extreme. We should not hastily jump into marriage without wisdom and consideration to avoid burning with passion. Yet also marriage is a beautiful thing and great for some. Either way in marriage or singleness/celibacy we can serve The Lord. For myself I hope to pursue marriage God willing, and I believe marriage will be good for my own discipleship and it can be a beautiful partnership in the gospel with our spouse.

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Corinthians 7:10-13, 15, 16 NIV)

Wow the call of marriage is serious. Yet this is the way it was intended from the very beginning as Jesus reminded us:

“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mark 10:5-9 NIV)

Marriage is a lifelong serious commitment without a back door or prenuptials. It is one of the most serious and challenging places of discipleship where our faith and character in Christ is tested and grown constantly. And yet it is one the greatest and most beautiful gifts! But as we learn from Jesus in luke 10 even marriage is not eternal and we must not put our hopes there. Our vows don't say either until divorce or forever. Marriage is neither extreme: it is lifelong and yet not eternal.

Lord bless many married believers with strength and joy to persist despite the worldly culture of divorce. I pray for myself in your timing and planning that I would be a man of God worthy of marriage. And yet I know even in marriage I will continue to sin and need to depend on you and live a lifestyle of repentance. Set my hopes on you Christ and yet I also ask for a wife to follow you with in this life and to bring your kingdom together! I pray you would help me to honor you Lord and my potential future wife now with my body and my heart. For I am full of sin and in need of a savior to redeem and purify me. And it breaks my heart my sin and how it affects myself, a possible future wife and God.

Lord save me!

Amen

Psalm 46 Reminder: Be still and trust in God

¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

¹¹ The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 46: 10-11

Too often I run around with great haste and concern to get to the next plan I have. I think of things I forgot to do or things I need to do and I jump into action. I know this often builds up stress in my life and usually doesn't actually help me get more done.

Before I worry or hurry I need to remember one thing: God is still God no matter what. And he is in control and he will be exalted in the nations and the whole earth! And this same God who is king of the universe is king in our lives and he is our mighty fortress. What have I to fear? For I can and often do make mistakes even mistakes that have consequences in the body of Christ on other believers. But I am quick to forget that God is still God and he will have is good way in us:

As Paul says confidently in Romans 8:

³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nothing not even our own sins and failures can separate us from the Love and salvation of our God for those who believe in Christ and love him. And no mistake I make in fundraising or in ministry is greater that God's love and salvation for those who believe.

So let me not worry but take careful prayerful and also decisive action as Proverbs 19:2-3 says.

² Desire without knowledge is not good—
    how much more will hasty feet miss the way!

³ A person’s own folly leads to their ruin,
    yet their heart rages against the Lord.

Lord help me to be still even in times of my own failure to be still and know you are God and that I can trust in you. And yet help me to have patience and wisdom to act with careful and decisive steps on your path for the advance of your kingdom by the gospel of Jesus Christ!
Amen

A Life worthy of the gospel of Christ

²⁷ Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit,^[e] striving together as one for the faith of the gospel ²⁸ without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. ²⁹ For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him

God as a missionary and minister of your gospel I am humbled by the fact that all of us continue to struggle with sin. We are utterly dependent on you. No leader in the church or working professional is any better or worse of our own nature. We are sinners and are utterly dependent on you Christ for salvation and for any hope of victory against sin. No amount of self discipline or meditation can free us. Because the real problem is in our heart and only God by the work of the Holy Spirit for those who believe can change our hearts. 

So Lord I ask humbly and weakly knowing my sin that you do heart work in me to change me from the inside out. I pray that more and more I would reflect Christ because more and more I live by the Spirit and not my worldly selfish desires. 

God I pray that I would live a life worthy of the gospel of Christ through him because Christ also strengthens me to glorify you Father by your Spirit!

Lord I pray in all circumstances whether in need or in abundance that I would live in a life worthy of you. I ask for your peace and hope to encourage me in times of need and stress. In times of abundance I pray you would be on my heart that I would remember you are the provider and not me. My hard work is  good but without your provision in life God I could do nothing. Even in persecution and suffering which I rarely face, but I feel sometimes in fundraising I pray I would remember you are with me and this is for your glory!

Amen

One of Jesus' treatise on money

The master commended the dishonest manager for his shrewdness. For the sons of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own generation than the sons of light. And I tell you, make friends for yourselves by means of unrighteous wealth, so that when it fails they may receive you into the eternal dwellings.

"One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much. If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? And if you have not been faithful in that which is another's, who will give you that which is your own? No servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money."

The Pharisees, who were lovers of money, heard all these things, and they ridiculed him. And he said to them, "You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God.
(Luke 16:8-15 ESV)

We often think of money as a resource and a worldly thing but I think Jesus is pointing to the fact that money is a spiritual thing. How we use money which is a gift from God is a very spiritual act. How we use our money and our time point to what we worship and desire.

I think money is one gift that God gives us to test our hearts and our faithfulness. Money is not independent from our faith lives. And I don't just mean our tithe or what we give to church, missionaries or charity. This extends into every aspect of our budget and decisions around money.

Being in ministry money in the form of fundraising can become really harmful or really beautiful to our faith. In fundraising will I be faithful and hold to the truth about money and fundraising. Or will I be stuck in fear and feeling overwhelmed and say no for others. For our faith is put to the test and proved in situations that challenge them not when we are taught about them. I know my faith in God's goodness, planning, sovereignty and provision are tested in my work fundraising. Fundraising is real spiritual heart work. And yet because of these challenges my faith and understanding of God has grown.

Lord continue to teach me about money and the spiritual side of money that I could more glorify you and be healthy in how I use and think about money and fundraising.
Amen

Giving financially is an act of worship!

As I enter into another week of fundraising for my ministry or as we prefer to call it ministry partner development I want to center on God and what the living Word of God says about money and giving. One thing that blesses me is that I have the honor to give and be on the other side of this for some other missions I support including other InterVarsity staff and the Central Asia Institute building schools for children especially girls in rural Pakistan and Afghanistan. God I pray you remind me both in giving and being the one asking for financial gifts for your ministry that you center me on you God and the truth about money and giving.

Therefore David blessed the Lord in the presence of all the assembly. And David said: "Blessed are you, O Lord, the God of Israel our father, forever and ever. Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all. And now we thank you, our God, and praise your glorious name. "But who am I, and what is my people, that we should be able thus to offer willingly? For all things come from you, and of your own have we given you.
(1 Chronicles 29:10-14 ESV)

This is a beautiful prayer by David over this act of giving. For it is so important that we remember these truths about God and giving:
God is creator and sovereign
God is the owner of all resources
We are only stewards for a time of God's resources
It is a spiritual act of worship to give back to God and God's work. God doesn't need it but it is good for us to give generously!

I write this not to make anyone feel guilty. I am looking for partners who are passionate about God's work in college students lives at CU! I pray for partners in the gospel who would work and sacrifice with me as a thanksgiving to God. For:

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
(2 Corinthians 9:7 ESV)

This all reminds me how at my church in boulder before the offering and giving of money to the church they invite us all to continue to worship God with our money and giving. Lord I pray for faith and understanding to see and feel the spiritual act of worship as I both give and ask others to give!
Amen

Meditation Psalm 49

Why should I fear in times of trouble?
(Psalm 49:5 ESV)

The Sons of Korah ask this question in their Psalm. This is the same question I want to ask my own heart.

Why do I fear in times of trouble?
Why do I fear in times things don't go to my plan?
Why do I fear when ministry or my life seem to be struggling?

For I know these truths:
1
God will ransom my soul from the power of Sheol for he will receive me. Selah (Psalm 49:5, 15 ESV)
2
For God is the King of all the earth;
sing praises with a psalm!
(Psalm 47:7 ESV)
3
I receive God the creator of the universe and eternal king as my heavenly Father through faith in Jesus Christ!

Yet I also struggle with doubt. For it is easy to believe in times of abundance and when things go well. But like Job will I believe when I lose things that I enjoy and love? Like Paul will I believe in seasons when ministry is not fruitful?

This psalm hits at part of the idea when it speaks of others having wealth and what that says about them and God. I think his also speaks to the truth about God and our faith when we are in times of need or suffering:

Be not afraid when a man becomes rich,
when the glory of his house increases.
For when he dies he will carry nothing away;
his glory will not go down after him.
For though, while he lives, he counts himself blessed
—and though you get praise when you do well for yourself—
his soul will go to the generation of his fathers,
who will never again see light.
Man in his pomp yet without understanding is like the beasts that perish. (Psalm 49:16-20 ESV)

In particular this verse
—and though you get praise when you do well for yourself—
Speaks to me about my ministry. Because I am quick to place my identity in the success of my ministry and I also can become prideful and seek praise for my ministry. But ministry is about God's people and God's glory not mine.

Lord set my heart on you and your promises. I believe, but please help my unbelief. Grow my faith that no matter what comes I would hold true to you Lord! I want to have confidence in you alone and not in my abilities or my ministry or my strength. Help me to rejoice in you Lord at all times in all circumstances. Christ I want to rely on your strength!
Amen