Joseph's attitude - Lord help me

Joseph is probably to me one of the most inspirational people in the bible.

He faces hardship after hardship but endures and hopes and trusts God through it all. I think the most amazing thing is he makes the best of bad circumstances and made a life where he was and despite the circumstances.

And he has some of the most profound theology rooted in real life of any man:

Genesis 50

18 His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,”they said.

19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

This is probably my greatest struggle and much of mankind's struggle: our corrupt hearts desire to put ourselves in the place of God instead of keeping God there in our hearts, minds and actions. 

Joseph also sees reality through God's eyes instead of his own or through circumstances. He also is able to forgive and love his brothers despite what they did to him. 

God help me to trust that you are God and I am not. Change my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh that I might love you and love others trusting in you and not myself. Lord help me to forgive as you forgave me. Give me eyes to see from your perspective, for I am stuck and lost in my own feelings and circumstances. Lord would you give me a heart to love and serve not demand and expect. Give me hope for how I might serve you. 

Amen

Jeremiah 17 one way or the other

Jeremiah 17

Thus says the Lord : “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. (Jeremiah 17:5, 6 ESV)

Lord I know I depend on my own strength too much. Even in ministry I struggle with this. But I have been humbled. I am low and weak and at the point of despair, would you help me not give up but instead trust you. If you have really called me would you speak to me and fill me with you truth and vision.

I don't want to try to go it alone anymore. I don't know how to trust though. I feel lost. I feel I am in the desert wilderness, lost and without direction or hope. I don't know how to do anything anymore. I don't know where to look or to go anymore. 

God pick me up and set me on your path.

Amen

Fight the battle well holding to faith ...

1 Timothy 18-20

18 Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, 19 holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith. 20 Among them are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme.

God I thank you that I am not alone. That in the struggles of life and faith and ministry you give us examples of not just perfect but real people in their real struggles. 

Lord I have been tempted to give up in so many ways. I am tempted to doubt my calling and wonder if it was my own willpower that brought me here. For in our struggle the devil seems to isolate us and then bring his lies all around us. 

I may not have heard the voice of God or prophecy clearly but there was something in my heart and mind that said yes: here am I. I will go. Lord I want others to come to know you. I prepared and applied and interned and then said yes to this work for your kingdom on the CU campus. Lord would you help me recall why I started this journey of ministry. Would you help me celebrate the little things along the way. 

God give me the strength and willpower to fight the battle well holding on to faith and a good conscience. I don't know how, but help me to turn to you and depend on you. 
Amen

Abide in Jesus Christ then you will bear fruit

Jesus said in John 15:5

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

And 

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. (John 15:1-4 NIV)

God you have been humbling me and reminding me you are God and I am not, you are savior and I am not, you are in control and I am not. God you are the Gardner. Jesus is the vine and my place is as a branch in the vine. You call us first to abide in you. In you Jesus you say without question we will bear much fruit, but apart from abiding in Jesus we can do nothing.

It's amazing the strength of this statement either you will abide or not and directly consequential you will absolutely either bear fruit or not. Now I am a little confused on what this fruit is, but I am sure it is good: repentance, growth, witness, love etc.

But Lord I confess I have not been abiding in you. And I feel I have not been bearing fruit. Now that's probably a little extreme but I think there have been days or a few weeks where I really haven't abided in you Jesus. God I have felt the pain and loss of not abiding in you. But I have been lost and stuck in despair. I have been walking in darkness and I have forgotten my way home to you. Lord would you guide me back to you. For you are hope and life and truth and love. In you there is not a shadow of darkness. God I desire to dwell in your presence. I long to live in your city and find citizenship with you in your kingdom. Let me dwell in the house of The Lord all the days of my life and forever.

Amen

God I pray for a mind and heart shift

God I pray for a mind and heart shift,

Would you help me view my role and responsibility in ministry as is right and good in your eyes. Help me to remember and trust you as I humble myself before you. You are God and I am not. 

So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. (1 Corinthians 3:7 ESV)

I am selfish and arrogant so would you humble me and change my heart. In fact you have humbled me so would you please pick me up and heal me now Lord?

Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said: “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge? “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. (Job 38:1, 2, 4 NIV)

For I have seen the storm and the maelstrom. In my house, my neighborhood, the ministry I try to lead.

I can say with with the author of Proverbs: 

He mocks proud mockers
    but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.

Proverbs 3:34

So I will try as 1 Peter 5 says

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Father God help me to believe that you do care for me.

Lord give me a new vision and a clearer sense of my calling and responsibility. 

Send me to plant, water, to sow and to reap the harvest you grow. 

For have you not sent me saying:

He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. 3 Go!

Luke 10:2,3

For I am weak and weary and ready to give up. I long to hear a word from you Lord telling me it was not all for nothing, that you care and what you want me to do from here. 

Amen

Paul ministry model for Timothy

Here is one part but a good summary of a ministry model to a pastor or minster of the gospel:

Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe. Command and teach these things. Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers. (1 Timothy 4:7, 10-16 ESV)

Ministry - set the example

Paul gives Timothy some instructions about ministry.

But he also gives this interesting call to Timothy as a minister of the gospel:

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12 ESV)

It makes sense right: lead by example. But for some reason I also struggle with this and it is a new and challenging idea to me in my ministry model. Timothy is called to teach and command certain things but also that a significant part of his ministry is simply to pursue godliness and train in at and by his life set an example. Suggesting that this is a crucial time and energy component of ministry. That it is not extra or on the side but central.

My mindset is a lot on productivity and urgency not using time to just set an example in this way. It seems counterintuitive to me. And yet that is often how God works and how the kingdom grows.

God help me to seek you, train in godliness and to set the example. Let the mark my ministry but first I need up to break my model and way of doing things and replace it with your direction and vision.

Amen